Betty White Turns 97 As Pressure Mounts For Her To Maintain Her Immortality

Could you imagine being afraid to die? I mean, we’re all afraid to die, but what if your death could possibly stop the world from turning for maybe an hour or two. We’re talking stock market plunges, volcanic eruptions, Starbuck temporarily closing, and the only thing that could maybe perhaps put it back on track would be the government reopening.

Many, including myself, thinks the sun will go black for like five minutes on the day Betty White closes her eyes forever. I’m telling you, even that little island of people that kill outsiders with bows and arrows will take a day or two of mourning. I don’t think there’s ever been an icon like her. And Betty if you’re reading, I can’t imagine what kind of pressure that must be like to be under. To know that world depends on you to keep waking up in the morning, and from naps too. You are our inspiration for long life and living it to the fullest. You taught us to say what we mean, and mean what we say, and to still say it like a lady.

Happy 97th Trip Around The Sun Betty! We love you. (Its still not ok for your to die)